


Prompt 244

by BurningBehindMyEyes



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Peter just wants to take him on a date, Wade is dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 22:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20664896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningBehindMyEyes/pseuds/BurningBehindMyEyes
Summary: Credits go to @spideypool-prompts on Tumblr!Prompt #244For some reason, Peter thinks Deadpool knows his secret identity so he thinks its not a big deal to chat with the merc in his civilian identity whenever he bumps into him in various locations. Wade, meanwhile is confused on why a cute but grouchy nerd keeps talking to him like they know each other but hey, it’s Ney York! Eccentrics are everywhere and this guy is really cute and doesn’t seem to mind hanging out with him! Also somehow they ended up on a maybe-or-maybe-not on a date???





	Prompt 244

Deadpool took the subway. Sue him! It was a regular thing - kids on seats reserved for people with disabilities were the greatest thing to threaten. Always made Deadpool feel like a hero. Would Spidey approve? Maybe not. But it was still a good thing!

**[You’re so whipped.]**

**{Spidey can whip us anyt-}**

Deadpool started humming the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic theme over their voices. Myy little poony, my little pony - ahhh ahhh ahhhh ahhh - MY LITTLE PONY. Used to wonder what friendship could be - MY LITTLE PONY -

“Until you all shared its magic with me.” Deadpool felt an arm brush up against his, and he glanced down at fluffy brown hair. God, this kid needed a hairbrush.

“Great adventures,” the kid sang back.

“Tons of fun,” Deadpool furrowed his eyebrows, glancing around the empty subway cart.

“A beautiful heart,”

“Faithful and strong,” they sang together.

“Sharing kindness!” the kid leaned back as the subway cart started moving.

“It’s an easy feat!” Deadpool shouted over the sound of the wheels over the tracks.

“And magic makes it all complete!” the kid giggled, his voice drowned out by the breaks hitting the tracks. The screeching sound gave Deadpool a reprieve to sit back and study this one. Brown hair, brown eyes, glasses - a nerdy little shit.

**[...why is talking to us? Why is he singing with us? Why My Little Pony?]**

**{I think I’m in love! <3}**

**[Shut UP Yellow-]**

“What’s your name, kid?” Deadpool tilted his head, assessing. The kid had on a Rick and Morty shirt on with some kind of science joke that flew over his head, blue faded jeans, and torn converse. College student?

“Peter.” the kid shrugged, picking his ratty backup up from the floor and placing it on his lap. He pushed the glasses up his face - black with plain glass frames. There wasn’t any reflective prescription in the glass. What was the point of them, then? - and adjusted it. “But I’m sure you already knew that.” the backpack’s bottom was ripped and Deadpool could see amateur stitching along the bottom.

“I’m Wade Wilson, Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth… pick your title.” he glanced around the empty cart again. Maybe he was seeing things? If the cart was empty and there were other places to sit, what the hell was this kid doing over here?

“Yeah, I know.” Wade narrowed his eyes at the backpack. There was just an impulse in him to destroy that thing and just buy the kid a new one. “You in college?”

“Yeah. I just started my Masters in Biomedical Engineering.”

“Gonna go for a PhD?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Huh.” Deadpool nodded and raised an eyebrow. The kid was digging through his backpack, and Deadpool could see a tattered wallet but some brand new books. He eyed the kid’s shirt closer than he did before - the thing was just hanging off his shoulders. Either it was way too big or the kid was that skinny. He felt his mouth harden into a line. “Why are you talking to me? You know I’m a mercenary, right?.”

“Well duh. But you’ve gotten a lot better.” the kid just shrugged again.

**{Why is this happening to us? Like he’s cute as fuck and he’s talking to… us.}**

**[Oh lord, he finally says something intelligent!]**

**{Hey!}**

“Oh, shut up.” Deadpool muttered.

“The boxes again?” the subway dinged, announcing the next stop.

“How do you know about them?” Deadpool was starting to think that he was missing something. A stirring in his gut, some kind of feeling that didn’t steer him wrong - like Spidey’s Spidey Sense, but more of a Deadpool Distinguishing Doohickey.

**{Three words are better than two!}**

**[Oh, you are _such_ a child.] **

“You talk about them a lot.” the subway announced the next stop, and the kid rose from his seat as the subway cart screeched to a halt. “Sorry Wade, this is my stop. It was nice seeing you though.” the kid stepped away from the seat as the lights turned on and the doors opened. “Oh, and Wade?” the kid turned and Deadpool sat up straighter in his seat. “What happened with Spiderman last week…” Deadpool hadn’t seen the bad guy coming. Spidey had swung right in the way of the ensuing blast that had thrown the spider from Deadpool’s side and through three walls. Spiderman could break, but Deadpool would heal. He should have just let Wade take the hit; Wade wasn’t worth saving- “It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you, so don’t beat yourself up about it, okay?”

With that, Peter waved and stepped out of the cart and back into the subway station. The lights turned off again as the cart started moving, and Wade felt his mouth stretch into a grin, his head bowed to his chest. He took a mental note of what stop the kid got off at.

“Peter, huh?”

\---

The next few days saw Deadpool following Peter around. He hadn’t been lying - college kid, studying Bio-whatever-medical-whatever something or other at a real fancy school. The kid would go to class, study in some of the quiet study rooms for a few hours, attend a lab, then take a bus to the subway. After the subway, he’d walk about fifteen minutes to get to his apartment.

It was in a shady part of town, but Wade had checked the prices online, and they weren’t bad. But this area had a reputation for being full of gang violence and drugs. In recent months, there had been a significant downswing, but the media wasn’t expecting it to last.

** [A recent downswing? Really?]**

**{I thought that was an excellent Spidey pun!}**

Of course, Deadpool had it all figured out. He’d dug into Peter Parker’s past. The kid was a genius, having graduated high school at sixteen, and completing a double major in chemistry and biology by nineteen. He’d worked for the Daily Bungle and took suspiciously good pictures of Spiderman. Pictures like he knew exactly where to stand. Deadpool knew what that feeling was, now. Spiderman was dating Peter! It was the only way Petey Pie could have gotten those pictures, and it made so much sense why crime in that area was going down. Spidey wanted to protect his boyfriend!

His birthday was August 10, so he had turned twenty in the summer before enrolling in his Masters of Biomedical Engineering. As it stood, Peter was an intern at Stark Industries, working as an assistant in their Biomedical Engineering department. He worked weekends and most weekdays, and although he wasn’t making as much as full time employees, it was enough to pay for his apartment and books.

By Deadpool’s estimate, it wasn’t enough for much else. He’d hacked into Peter’s school to find the kid had his tuition paid. After hacking into his bank, Deadpool found the kid had a huge debt incurred by student loans. So, of course, like a gentleman, he’d paid the whole thing off in full, and made sure Spidey’s main squeeze wouldn’t be harassed by those debt sharks. Now Spidey was sure to see him better!

Well. Maybe he’d be mad that Deadpool had done some… _investigating_ on Petey, but it’d all been for a good cause!

**[He’ll hate you if he finds out.]**

**{Hate sex!}**

**[Do you ever leave the gutter, or have you just fused into the sewage stank?]**

Deadpool didn’t think he could ever be a match for Petey. He was cute, and little, and even if his choice of non prescription glasses was a little weird, but he was much more attractive than Wade’s avocado-esque face. Even if he couldn’t be with Spidey, he could at least make sure he was happy. Deadpool was very sure that if Petey didn’t have a lot of money, then neither would Spidey. Deadpool decided to deposit an extra half a million into Petey’s account. Just in case.

He huffed a sigh, glancing down at Petey, who had just cut into an alley. He’d never be good enough for Spidey, but that was okay- wait. First of all.

**{He went into a strange alley right beside our rooftop angst session. Uh oh!}**

**[Aaaand he’s looking straight up at us. Good going you two.]**

**{You two?! How is this my fault?}**

Petey looked mad. Deadpool decided to hop down and confront him now. He had no idea how Petey knew he was there, but he probably just sighed too hard or kicked a rock or something. Maybe Petey was just observant.

As soon as Deadpool hit the floor of the alley, Petey was on him.

“You paid off my student loans, didn’t you?!” Petey grabbed his arm and hauled him up. Deadpool blinked in surprise - nerdy little Petey was _strong!_ **{Knew it!!!}**

**[No you fucking didn’t!]**

**{White lies and white lies!}**


End file.
